This is an epic tale of Sir Kaka Babu and the horrific events that followed when he came across a novel.
This novel was named "Zoya" and was written by Danielle Steel. Apparently she was a well know best-selling authors who had written many novels. She was critically acclaimed for her elaborate plots, meticulous research and had brought vividly to life a wide range of characters.
Babu came across this particular novel when he visited one of his newly conquered territories a few months ago. It seemed like a nice and interesting little book at first. Babu was on a reading spree in those days and was grabbing anything that he could get his hands on. Little did he know that reading and experiencing this novel would invoke such feelings and emotions that he didn't even know existed inside him. What lay ahead caught Babu completely off-guard.
Many days went by but Babu didn't get a chance to meet "Zoya". After several weeks, Babu felt like reading something and there it was,"Zoya", laying at his bookshelf like a silent predator,waiting for the opportunity to grab it's prey by the throat. So Babu picked it up and slowly started to read it. It started out as beautiful story about a young and clueless Russian countess who was on her way to Alexander Palace to meet her cousin and childhood best friend,Grand Duchess Marie,who was the daughter of the Russian Tsar! It was set in the year 1917,the year of the revolution so Babu had some idea that bad things were to come but as the story started to unfold,the story arc went from being light-hearted, beautiful, filled with fun and frolic and all about the finer things in life towards tragedy,death,despair,catastrophe, and extreme life threatening circumstances.
A series of unfortunate and terribly heartbreaking events happened and after a long and sorrow filled period,things finally started to get better for Zoya. It's seemed that after all the tragedy she and "the reader" had been through,nothing terrible could happen again. It seemed everything was going magnificently when the author in her never ending cruelty,dragged the earth from under Zoya's feet. Her world came crashing down again.
At the time of these events, about a quarter of the novel was still left so Babu was expectant of good things to come. But the pain of current events was too much to bear. The crushing tragedy brought tears to Babu's eyes! TEARS!!!!!!................In Babu's eagle eyes!!!!
Sir Kaka Babu,a force of nature,a dealer in thunder and death, who always thought himself to be above this ordinary sentimental bullshit was experiencing what he had never experienced before. These alien feelings of sorrow and empathy and the fact that his defenses had been shattered was a real mighty blow to Babu's being. Suddenly he was overcome by a new feeling with which Babu was all too familiar. That feeling was extreme and uncontrollable anger.This extraordinary feeling of anger and hate was directed towards the author for she fucked with Zoya's life and by extension with Babu's emotions one too many times.
Babu had this to say and his diary stood witness as he poured his ferocious thoughts into it: "THAT MOTHER FUCKING CUNT, THAT GOD-DAMN FILTHY WRITING WHORE, THAT CRUEL GROTESQUE MONSTROSITY IN A HUMAN SLUT'S FORM!!!!! She and anybody who has ever know her would suffer a slow, painful, agonizing and humiliating DEATH!!! She who has polluted my pure and simple mind with this cancer of emotions, she who has compelled me to think that I, Sir Kaka Babu, The Ruler of Men, The Embodiment of Tyranny has actually had something in common with the ordinary, pesky common folk. NO!!
I refuse to accept this and here, now, I SWEAR IN THE NAME OF THE DARK LORD HIMSELF THAT I WILL FIND HER AND ANYBODY DEAR TO HER.....................!!!!"
The rest of the sentence never got finished as the writing utensil broke in half. He left little for imagination as one can easily discern what he wanted to write next. Babu had made a firm decision and was hell bent to find everything about this so-called "best-selling" author. In Babu's views she was best selling alright;best at selling her ass!! He came to find out that her father was from Germany and mother from Portugal. After many months of looking Babu's fury exploded like a volcano and he made a final decision to collectively punish The Germans and The Portuguese for bringing this foul creature into the world.
He summoned his generals and started to make preparations to invade Portugal and Germany. When all the necessary preparations were finished,he unleashed his Dark Army of conquest unto helpless Portuguese,nobody knows how many people and soldiers were slaughtered. The Babu Army swept through Portugal like a flash of lightening and when all the guns fell silent,Portugal,a once sprawling country with many vibrant cities was reduced to a pile of rubble and heaps of corpses could be seen everywhere.
The first part of Babu's vengeance had come to its bloody conclusion.
Now at the time of this blog being written,Sir Kaka Babu's Dark Armies stand poised and ready to invade and unleash death and destruction unto The Germans. That poor nation with it's tiny Army can't even begin to hope for a chance to put up a fight against Babu's vast Evil Horde!!!!!
VIVE LA SIR KAKA BABU